inconsistant is the symmetry? early morning dissolution

As most around me seem to get around 9 to 12 hours of sleep i find myself waking from a much less period of Zs. My journey through dream and self transformation is a patient process involving all of my heart and time. From a place so far in the past i cant yet remember to a place i have never been. The abstractions seem to pour in along rivers of synchronicity. Before I was initiated into the world of magick and mystery by the ancient serpent, my life was more of a drifting wondering about a world i saw as lost and undisciplined in self awareness, a world that was to afraid of the truth. I dont feel like i can really show anybody what i am, i feel nature does that for me, if you listen closely. And the absurdities rise like calm air along the ground of my mornings, it makes me feel like a child, i wasnt afraid to be crazy, i was never certain, i wasnt innocent because its opposite did not exist for me. My being mirrors you. Sometimes you fall straight through.
What Im trying to say is as a poet I am creating a whole new myth, i am immersing myself in a vision that is too strange and true for the ego of my being. Ive always been this way, but never knew why. I thought i was very 'different'. I see this vision in everyone now. It sound weird for me to speak about myself in this way, egoless and all bla blahblah. But I know from the soul and thoughts simply follow. I used to assume way to much in my past and i got ahead of myself not really taking thought to what those around me really said. So I wait patiently for this scizophrenic giggle to dissolve my sense of permanence and follow the muse. The coming age is one much too vast and mysterious for the narrow bigotry and selfish tendencies of this little tiny thing i call ego. Shed the monkey body and give birth from your true skeleton the true vision of what you feel you are in eternity.